I won't believe if Pa's not Alright
by fstigtmsb
Summary: Laura's faith is put to the test when Charles becomes seriously ill.
1. Chapter 1

Mary and I were on our way home from school when we noticed that pa's wagon wasn't at the mill. Mr. Larson came out when he saw us. He asked us if we knew why pa hadn't come to work. We told him no and then hurried home.

Doctor Baker was just leaving when we arrived. He told us that pa was a very sick man, and he wasn't sure if there was much he could do. My heart sank. Pa seemed fine this morning. A little more tired than usual, but fine. Doc Baker said that pa was running a dangerously high fever and had left medication for him, but it was in God's hands.

Ma came out to thank Doctor Baker for coming to see pa. Doc Baker nodded than left. Ma told us to get to our chores and then went back inside. Mary and I were folding laundry when we heard pa start to cough. They were hard, heavy and harsh. It was very painful to listen too. I dropped a sheet and ran to the barn.

I climbed up to the loft and curled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my legs. I heard Mary come up and felt her put her arm around me.

"Mary, I don't know if I've ever heard pa like that." I said muffled.

"Me either, Laura. But we got to have faith that pa will be alright."

"And if he's not, then I don't want to believe in God. I couldn't believe in a God that would let pa not be okay." I said crying.

Ma came looking for us.

"Laura, will you bring some water in the house for me?" She said calling up to the barn.

"Better do it." Mary said.

I slowly got up and went in the house to get the bucket. While in there I looked over at pa in bed. He laid still and looked so pale. My heart broke into a million pieces. I accidently dropped the bucket, which woke pa up.

"Who's there?" He crocked.

"Sorry pa." I said softly.

"Half-pint, what are you doing?"

"Ma asked me to fetch some water. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's alright. I wasn't really asleep. Just do as your ma says."

"Yes sir. Pa?"

"Yes half-pint."

"I love you." I said trying not to cry.

"I love you too darling. Now go on."

Pa set his head back down on his pillow. You could tell he was feeling really weak.

I went out to get water and brought it back in the house. I then went upstairs and sat on my bed and cried some more.


	2. Chapter 2

Mary came up and just put her arm around me. "Ma wants us outside." She quietly said.

I followed her downstairs. I looked over at pa. I could see how ill he was and it was breaking my heart. When we got outside Ma told us that were going to stay with the Garveys. I understood why she was sending us away, but I didn't want to be far from pa. I wanted to stay home and help ma nurse pa back to health. But I knew that I couldn't ask to stay.

Ma sent us in to pack our stuff and then it was off we were to go. Mary finished before I did. She told me to hurry up. I told her that I would be right now. I knew what I was about to do, I'd be in trouble for. But I had.

I went down the stairs and put my bag on the table. I went in to where pa was. "Dear God, let my pa be okay." I whispered. "I won't believe in you anymore if he's not. I can't believe in a God that would let something bad happen to pa." I added. "I love him more than anything."

Pa then began to cough. I backed out of the room as he was still coughing. I could no longer hide my tears. Ma came in.

"Laura, off you go. Don't disturb your father." She looked at me and saw the tears. "Laura, your father is a strong man and a fighter. He'll be just fine. It's up to God on wither or not it's his time."

"It can't be ma. I can't believe in a God that would take pa."

"Laura…" Pa croaked.

I looked over at him. "Pa?"

"I never want you to not believe in God. I'll see you soon." Pa said before breaking into another coughing fit.

"Now go Laura. You girls can come back once your father is well enough. Be good for the Graveys." Ma said.

"I will be."

"I love you Laura."

"I love you too ma. Tell pa I love him too."

"I will."

And then I left and Mary, Carrie and I left for the Garveys.


	3. Chapter 3

Pa got worse as the day went on, I could feel in my gut. Andy was my best friend, but not even he could cheer me up. "Laura, you gotta eat something. Or you'll get sick like your pa."

"That's okay with me, cause then I could be near him. He's not going to get better Andy. Pa's gonna die. I just know it. Andy, what am I going to do if pa's not okay?"

"Just keep praying that he'll be fine." Andy said giving me a squeeze on the shoulder.

Ma wiped down pa's forehead as breaths staggered from his chest. Heavy, raspy coughs shook his body and then he opened his eyes. "I love you Caroline. I'll always love you." He said before closing his eyes and giving into another coughing fit.

The next morning after arriving at the Garvey's was hard for me to get up. I just wanted to go home and be with pa. I didn't want to do anything else. I knew when ma would be in town and decided to sneak out to the house somehow. I just had to see for myself that pa was still alive.

I asked Miss Beatle if I could use the bathroom. When she excused me I ran almost the whole way home. I entered the house as quietly as I could. I looked over at pa's bed where he laid still. He didn't look like he was breathing and I feared the worst.

As much as it broke my heart I was thankful when he broke into a coughing fit. At least it meant he was still alive. Pa opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Half-pint? What are you doing here?" He barely croaked.

"I wanted to check on you. I know I shouldn't have, but pa I'm so scared." I cried.

"Laura, this hasn't beat me yet. I got plenty of fight it me. I've got my family to provide for. I'm not going anywhere. Now get back to school and then back to the Garvey's." He quietly said.

"Pa? if you don't end up okay, I could never forgive God for taking you."

"Don't you worry about that. Now go."

Just as I was about to leave I looked at pa once more. "I love you more than anything pa."

"I love you too darling." He said giving me a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Being at the Garvey's was tough when pa was sick at home. We'd see ma in town every now and then on our way back from school.

"Ma, how's pa?" I asked.

"He's not well Laura. He's fever climbed higher last night. But I'm sure your pa is fighting whatever this is tooth and nail and will pull through just fine."

"I miss you ma."

"I miss you all too. Hopefully your father's fever will break soon and it will be safe for you girls to return. I know your pa misses you all too.'

"Give pa my love."

"I will."

"I love you too ma."

"And I love you."

That was about our conversations every time I saw her. She was always in a hurry to get home. I wanted her to take me home with her. It broke my heart when I saw pa so sick. His coughs racked his body and tore from his chest. I was glad I didn't have to witness that though.

Saturday evening there was a knock at the Garvey's door. Andy answered it and doctor Baker came in. he asked to talked to us girls and I feared the worst. I said a prayer in my heart telling God that if the news was bad I no longer could believe in him.

"How's pa?" Mary asked.

"I just left your house, and I'm happy to say that prayers have been answered. He's still a very weak man, but his fever is broken and he's doing better. I'd give it a couple more days to be sure. But you'll soon be able to return home." He said with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

I couldn't wait to return back home. It had been a long week and I couldn't wait to be back with ma and pa. he was well again and doctor Baker gave us the okay to return home. I went running in the house and saw Pa at the table drinking coffee. It was so good to see him out of bed. "Pa!"

He put his cup down and gave me a smile. "Hi half-pint. How's my girl?"

"Happy to be home. Extremely glad that you're well again.'

"So am I half-pint. So am I." He then gestured me to give him a hug. I gladly did so.

That night I thanked God for making pa well again. I also promised to always keep my faith.

~End~


End file.
